Life
Thursday, August 26, 2010 @ 12:31 PM
Haven been blogging for a very very long time, don't really feel like blogging it out my feelings. Sometime some things just have to be kept in your own heart, but if you don't say it out, you will feel kind of uneasy. hmmmm... don't know how to describe too.
I guess my life now is going up and down, attached with matthew now, cherishing the time spending with him. i guess i finally can put down the burden of prince in my heart. but i still miss my prince sometime, wonder how he is doing now... anyway, i'm very happy that i found matthew, actually we do not know each other very short, we know each other for almost a year, now then i realise. in this 1 year, we are good friends, he treat me well, talk to me nicely, bring me out and fetch me home, bring nice food for me. and on my birthday he propose to me. God, thats fate right, you send him to me when i'm down, thanks God, that is the best bday gift ever. and now he still treat me very well, although he in NS now, he stilll find time for me, bring me out to enjoy and send me home. i feel bad sometimes when he bring me out, knowing he so tired, yet he still insist of meeting me, putting on the smile and cracking jokes, teasing me. i love you matt, thanks for doing all these for me, you are the best gift from gos and i hope to be with you for a very long long time. thank you for accepting me whoever i am. you know my past and you know what i been thought yet you still choose me.
paper can't cover fire for long, i guess my parents will know about me and matt together soon. a war will begin soon. i look so strong and calm, yet i know, my heart is bleed, my heart is crying. i do not know what to do... i know they really don't like matt and can't accept him, but why they just can't accept him? why you all just can't see his strong points but only focus on other things. whats wrong skin colour, whats wrong about mix blood? as long as he treat me well, i'm ok. he don't look bad, he still a human. he is talented and he know how to protect me. why? why you all just cant accept him. what should i do?
I'm like a bird in a golden cage, my leg is chain up by a small wire. sometimes the cage is open, and i can walk out just to feel some fresh air, yet i'm still tied to here, i can't fly away or do what ever i like. occasionally a bird will fly to me and talk to me, it will bring things for me, it will tell me about the outside world, but it will always get chase away by my master. she do not want me to be in danger, she do not want me to feel sad, she do not want me to get hurt, she do not want me to get lost outside. i know he good intention, but its just too suffocating. what i need is just abit of freedom and being with the people i like, and not get protected and trap in a golden cage. please, someone let me out of here... :(
