i just feel like blogging out of a sudden. life was quite alright for me, been out most of the time for projects and training. yesterday is mom birthday, bought a cake for her at tampines one. today went to Ehub Teasire Cafe to do projects, in the end, everyone was like slacking there. facebook addicts. went gladys house, first time i was not lost and do not need people to bring me there, although that one is my 3rd house. haha ^^ went there to do work and slack, take back my cards. talk to her parents, they still very friendly and nice to me, they remember me... tomorrow going training in the evening..
its ironic when i say i feeling lonely, and want someone beside me, yet when i'm in a group, i still feel lonely and hope to be alone. i just hate the feeling of losing things, i just hate to be alone. but reality wants me to be strong, it will not wait for me to learn how to overcome my feelings and learn how to be strong to face it. so why am i here in the first place? i hate this place. its the feeling of relying on him stop be from leaving this world. so if i let go one day, what will happen to me? my heart feel empty, whats the purpose of me in this world? many of my teachers told us this, you must have a purpose in life so that your life will be meaningful. whats my purpose in life? God create us as he know we have a purpose to be created. so God, i think you have forgotten to tell me whats my purpose before you create me. I'm just a waste on earth. time to let go of my past and face my future. trust the Lord what he install for me.
thanks for your promises, its ok if you can't fulfill them. as long as i know you are with me, my best buddy, and that will be enough. please concentrate on your work and your family, your NARFA. but please don't over stress yourself. I will be fine alone. Don't worry. i'm used to being alone. a simple sms or even an offline message is good enough, if you are free or bored you can call me anytime. even late at night. loves ^^
suddenly feel that i'm lack of being love. being single too long just make me feel lonely. being rejected make me feel more depressing. i need love, i want to be love, i want to love someone. who? am i getting desperate? i think i just feeling lonely and indeed i'm alone...
its going to be a lonely christmas for me again... why i'm whining? i thought i'm used to it? i hate christmas... year after year...
don't judge a book by its cover. some words that i say are just to protect myself for being hurt again...
Lonely Hime-sama... Fallen Angel...
I miss you...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 @ 9:12 PM
i miss you my angel, i know you are there with me. but why my angel, you seems so far away now. i hardly feel you are with me, around me, watching me... i miss you my angel, don't worry i will be there with you soon. heavenly father when my punishment is going to end? i want to go back to you. but now, the sky is getting higher and further away from me.. what happen? am i going to stuck on earth? you don't want me back? i miss the sky, i miss you heavenly father, i miss you my guardian angel, pls let me go back soon.. i'm sick and tired of the world i'm living now...
and i miss you... i will not let go your hand ever again if i can go back in time. i wan to be lyk back then, a simple life, theres you, theres me, we can play all day and night, laugh and cry together. there is always there for you. not now anymore... and i think never ever again... i think its time to say good bye..
life is alright now.. nothing special..
christmas is round the corner... its time to enjoy and relax...
i hate my life now.. life sucks...
Rubbish Bin
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 @ 10:02 PM
i think i just need a place to vex out my anger and all those miseries that i am suffering now.
i just need some peace and be alone. too many, just too many of thoughts and concerns.
Oh God! save me oh Lord! what have i become? i'm lost God, i'm totally lost.
I'm just not as strong as i seems. i really feel like going to a place and hide, assuming that hiding can solves all the problems. what innocent thoughts. but NO! i need to face them. but i just don't have the strenght and heart to face them. I'm scare. I'm very scare. i just need someone or anyone to be with me, the person that i always wanted and rely on are gone. I'm alone. No one seems to care. can i abandon the world? can i just leave this world and all my problems.
don't worry i will be fine. i guess so. and i hope so. life still need to go on. thats reality.
to that person, i know you and me have alot of problems to handle. and you know i'm not as strong as you think i am. i'm just a weak coward who doesn't know how to face reality. you are brave, and you must me brave. i must become strong too. lets work hard together ok. everything will be fine. i'm sure. just remember this, you are my best buddy and i will never let go of you. no matter what happen, or you are emotionally hurt, or just need someone to talk and hug, i will always be there for you. i will fly to you if you need help. thank you god for sending me to you. forever friends, forever my best buddy. LOVES *PS: you scare me just now. you make me so worried.
Name: Joanne Ku Xin Yi
DOB: 20th May 1992
Age: 17 years old School
Chong Zheng Pri School
Qiaonan Pri School
Tampines Sec School
(1e5,2e5,3e3,4e3)
Temasek Polytechnic
(Leisure and Resort Management)
Horoscope: Taurus/Gemini
Email: joannexinyi@hotmail.com
Her Love
To God i swear I will love you forever
and to eternity
I will remember you
until the day i die
