I don't feel like saying so much about my life now.. everyday is the same old thing.. tomorrow need to work again.. haha.. went to bugis and tm with mom.. bought a pair of jeans.. 3 shoe.. haha.. 3 nail polish.. 1 nail remover.. haha.. alot of money sia..
i so guai ok.. i earn money i give 30 bucks to each parent.. haha i lose 60 bucks juz like this.. haha
lol..
tmr lunch all i pay ok.. so guai rite.. haha.. ok lar i will stop here continue tmr.. haha..
i will de..

still finding a perfect guy.. b4 christmas.. haha..

i miss you even more now.. why you never contact me? not even a hi.. i miss you..
i love you my prince.. why i become like this???





So early in the morning met puay and took bus 8 and bus 22 to work place. ok lar middle story i dun feel lyk saying.. but damn funny de.. haha :P
today go AMK to do... really nid to act cute in order to let the old uncle buy the tix sia.. haha.. idiot.. lol.. i onli sold 19 tic today. i wanted 30 leh.. haha.. lol..
ok lar get a lot of excuse from ppl not to buy.. lol so a bad day lar..
today got 2 new ppl following lor.. haha..
ok lar continue when i free..
i miss my trainer Tian Haur.. such a joker.. haha.. lol..

enjoy the music then..

oyasumi nasai..




i love stanley body so so much.. sexy.. haha








疯了，我真的疯了。你能够停止这一切吗？你能吗？你一天不吵，不来反我可以吗？我够多事了，你就饶了我好吗？
BITCH!我真的受够你了! Fuck off...
You are the one who make me don't feel like coming back home. Do you know i get this bad feeling every time i reach home. I will always tell myself, once in just shut yourself up. No more feelings for me... I'm numb, I'm deaf, I'm mute... All thanks to you! Prince once told me, no matter what, your family is important for you, you will have ti cherish them, stop saying about you hate this home and asking your parent for a divorce. But now i still thinks that divorce is the best method to stop all these. You two are not fit to be together thats all! If so, settle it yourself, I do not want to join in. I like the feeling of being drunk and you smile and walk like endlessly. So happy, and you feel like floating. God how long is my punishment on Earth. I feel lost and hopeless. Who can help me? Maybe I'm not fit to be in this world, at the beginning i should not be in this world, I'm being misplaced. I have no where to go. Anyone can tell me what i should do? 我真的很想逃避，但我能逃到哪里？快乐永远短暂，剩下的也只有悲伤。这世界的残酷，冰冷，让我好难受。我讨厌这一切的一切。有谁能带我走出黑暗，从见光明。This endless feeling is haunting me. What the Fuck! crap I don't like this at all. Oh Lord, save me my Lord!

Not everyone is bad. Not everyone is good. But why in your mind and thinking everyone is against you? What so bad about those people? What happen to you? Why adult are so childish, or only you are like this? I hate it! I really hate all these..!!!

Too many feeling to type into words..
Song can express more feelings than words..

The pain is too great for me...

Sometimes i just do not know whether I am smiling or crying. Happy or sad?








ytd was my 2nd day at work. went to thomson with tian haur and daniel. stuck between 2 guys, but fun lar, tian haur was veri funny the whole day, crapping away, now i know why his gf lyk him so much.. haha... but then he got irritated by some phone calls. haha.. ppl in another team fight. lol.. ok.. ytd do house to house, landed property. cool hor.. jealous ma, can see rich rich ppl.. haha.. then tian haur cnnt tahan so went to thomson plaza to rest, have some drinks and chat awhile. then start working again arnd 2.30pm outside the plaza.. nid to leave early ytd coz night got piao liang jie jie the wedding dinner. so i onli manage to sell 1 book.. haha my target is 2 book per day.. yeah!!

so went wif them arnd 4pm took a bus to ang mo kio, top up card then took mrt to braddel. then from there took 59 bus home.. haha.. reach home 5.30pm.. left home for dinner arnd 6.45pm.. haha
the wedding was nice and jie jie was so pretty.. now i got a piao liang jie jie and a shuai ge jie fu.. haha..
*PS: is she ask me to call her piao liang jie jie de.. haha..
took some videos.. next time then upload.. haha..

today going to rot at home.. nth to do so i goin to pei my com.. haha :) i love you my com darling..

tmr goin to work again. but got puay puay.. dunno go where.. haha.. i love this job so much..
smoker and vurgarities every where.. haha l0l..








okok so i start with 2 days ago... hmm..
ok i go TPRAWK last day..
go business school, interesting lor.. learn a lot of things..
then play some games.. haha.. then concert..
Daren from project superstar come to TP. and oso Gurmit Singh. haha
"singpore ok" and "dun forget the lyric"
ok after that is dinner. BUFFETS haha!! ok after that is Jam and Hop..
eat too full, then feel like vomiting.. so nv go until veri high.. but slowly become veri high and start jumping arnd.. haha crazy gurl.. then lunch is ok lar fry chicken and bread...haha ok lar oily food i dun lyk..
over all the thingy is fun and nice.. i really enjoy it..

ytd went for my job interview.. first stop go to paya lebar for a event promoter interview.. then go simei for a beauty shop to interview.. both ok lar.. dun lyk the beauty one goin to cancel the job.. prefer the paya lebar one.. haha so then went home lor.. btw ytd whole day is with puay puay.. haha so all the interview oso with her.. then she walk to my house here to take bus home..
then rot at home.. haha

today went for my event promoter orientation, my first project, sell donation tix for the charity organisation. sell finish one book of 15 tix ($10/tix) then can get 30 bucks of pay.. every sat get pay.. so today i earn 30 bucks bcoz i finish book... haha crazy and funny rite.. cheong so hard for money.. tmr goin to do at dunno place.. haha.. target oso 1 book or more.. haha.. ppl who are interested with the job can ask me. haha then can pei me work.. haha.. got shuai ge and oso can meet alot of ppl go different places.. haha.. fun and interesting job for ppl lyk to tok alot.. this job let you tok until you dun feel lyk toking.. haha.. flexible and pay wise is your skill of selling lor.. haha.. not onli this project more projects are coming so can sell other things oso... ppl there veri friendly and good.. lyk frenz frenz liao.. haha so cool lor.. working with teenages is better than working in adult places.. haha this job is fun and challenging.. you get to learn communicating skills and other impt things lar. you will have to experience it yourself then you will know.. ppl jiayou for working and earn money.. haha
today puay puay nv come.. phone her to di siao her..haha my trainer oso di siao her.. haha
sadded she cnnt go tmr.. nid to explain to boss again.. sadded.. you better come on monday or i will kill you.. haha so paiseh to say to boss you not going lor.. sadded.. tmr the shuai ge(s) will be veri sad de.. all wan to see puay puay haha..

tmr go to dunno place sell..HDB or landed property area.. jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!

will aload pictures when i free.. haha :P

ok thats all..

oyasumi..

signing off..
P Joanne XY





Today morning wake up very early, why?! GOT TPRAWKS ma!! but i woke up late, ask felicia to come my house wait for me, then we go tp together.

first thing, go tp register, then got into "Blue Hoodie" group 6. went to the wrong door, people started to shout AFRO! AFRO! haha then i look at felicia what the crap they shouting about..haha
so first got dance then talk crap about the apply poly thingy.. then we go to 2 lab, one do starch experiment another one do virus vaccine. ok lar quite fun. then go have lunch.. idiot felicia cnnt finish her chicken wing and egg nv give me, i hungry leh.. ok then go dragon boat.. fun fun fun.. tiring oso.. then play until wet wet.. go to some area with high elements.. play some games.. haha.. then YEAH!!! Hip Hop dance lesson.. fun lar but still cnnt get the steps and beat.. haha :)
then then play with the tp dance.. crap i dunno the dance steps and nid to learn fast fast.. haix.. then the tp school song.. i really hope our school song can change to that.. haha

change to green and gold, green and gold, we will keep our school flag flying.. not bad rite.. got action then morning sing le sing and dance so shuang.. so interesting and creative.. first sec skool to use this ba.. haha nice nice..
oh oh.. after the song we go home.. then took bus 8 with felicia..
PS: sorry lar i dunno got 2 more bus behind ma.. i oso dun lyk to squeeze.. :( ps lar..

so tmr go tp again... tmr got the dun forget your lyrics and other performs..tmr is business school day.. haha.. then night go back school for MRC camp then go see sun rise.. haha :)

*What the crap happen to your? do you need a 心里医生? can you stop all this.. I'm irritated by it, I hate this.. STOP STOP STOP!!!! I NEED MY PEACEFUL LIFE..!!!*

thats all for today..

signing off
P Joanne XY







Yesterday(16/11)

woke up early coz mom say wan to go singtel fast fast and eat lunch. in the end i ok le she hor suddenly volcano erupt then time delay. lol lame.. nvm.. childish adult.. then went to singtel to ask about the recontact of internet, then go eat lunch. mom wan to find dental clinic, so went to near library there.. see see she wan to go the Lee & Lee dental surgery.. then walk walk awhile, wanted to do hair then mom disagree.. idiot! i cnnt be pretty uh.. dunno wat she thinking.. i cant reborn, cant colour, cant have pet, cant where short, cant stay over night.... and many more cant crap... WTF i hate it!! you think you are a queen or what??? you cant even trust your own daughter.. Fuck!! ok ok too much of that then continue my life... went to megacourt and ikea instead.. see see until veri late.. bought a toy dog(70cm long) big big.. then go home. i exchange my hair and pet dog for a toy dog.. nvm better than nothing.. i will get all that when i older.. so buy bread home... reach home.. i really hate it.. i dun lyk to go home bcoz of all the bad memories.. I'm scare ok.. I scare of losing.. i hate this.. FUCK i hate the world..!!! thats all..
talk talk with rayson friend, andre, shuai ge 1个, talk very long about jobs.. then ya nothing le..

today(17/11)
Rot at home.. morning mom call singtel for the internet.. get the 39.90/mth plan.. haha so happy.. so settle until afternoon nothing to do le.. tidy up my worksheet.. then find jobs.. call call no one ans.. so angry.. then pack bag for tmr.. crap dun feel lyk saying.. queen order again.. shit i hate it.. I'm 16 not 6!!!!!!! ok ok rot at home..

tomorrow plan..
go felicia house then go tp tgt.. maybe ltr go bbq.. the next day, go tp again.. then go skool for mrc camp.. haha.. fun fun.. then dunno le..
i hope queen dun ahem..
FUCK I HATE IT!!! FEEL LIKE xxxx TO HER?!

bu shuang in alot of things.. i hate all these..

anyway i dreamt about jay darling last night.. dreamt i went his house.. haha :)

wo zhen de hao xiang ni.. hao xiang hao xiang.. hao kong xu de shen huo.. ma le..






Kawaii song.. Kawaii Yamapi.. pledge for eternal love..

Hot Yamapi.. I love Hot HOt Hot Yamapi..

Daite Senorita, tsuyoku hanasanai de...

seishun amigo

Hot baby.. sexy Yamapi..

He can dance so well.. scream and shout for his sexy-ness..

silly Yamapi.. is he drunk or what??

young yamapi.. KAWAII NE























































All peaceful and happily ever after? Bull shit! I just don't get it. Why you could not understand me. What i like and what i hate. You always tell me that, if i ask you to stop saying it you stop, i don't like it and i will scold you if you continue, i don't care whether is it in the public. And now what senorita? If you dislike people like this, you are one yourself do you know that. Stop giving people lectures or teaching when you are one of the kind. You can get angry but not other people. Fuck! You think so? You think you are so superior that everyone have to listen to you, cannot get angry of you? Fuck off! You are not ok! No one is by the way. So don't think that way. What lies deep under people heart can never be seen, what happen behind close doors nobody know. Don't judge a book by its cover. So you think I'm that pure and innocent. I'm no longer the cute and innocent girl beside you, let you scold and shout. I'm not your slave or dog. Stop treating me like this. Stop it! Stop scolding dad and shout at him! Who you think you are? Bitch! I know people will start to say me that I'm not filial, you can't scold your mom a bitch. I will stop, i will, if you stop too. stop being like you are the boss of the family. We shouldn't live under your shadow. I will not! I will not! I will not become you! Stop thinking that you know everything! Stop thinking that all people are bad! Stop thinking that everyone is against you! Stop taking things so seriously! If you change all this you will find that the world is such a nice place. Because of you i changed. I change to be stronger, i start to put on a mask. I learn how to control my emotions, i learn how to tell lies. That is who i am now! You have change me and it cannot be change back! Please update yourself! Please learn to control your emotions. Oh God why you put me into this family! SAVE ME O LORD! Pressure! I have my own too, so stop adding more burdens on me. Stop All This Now!!! Fuck i hate all this!

yesterday was quite all right. early in the morning went with mom to make a bank account for myself. she transfer 100 bucks into my account. take from my angbao money she gave me. I cheated from her 40 bucks more. My angbao was only 60 bucks this year but i told her 100 bucks. haha!! things happen at the bank, don't feel like mentioning. then went to eat lunch, then walk walk around to see whether got ring ma.. then wait for shu ying call and mrt-ed to Bedok. met shu ying and her sister. went to bugis for job interview. waited for a very long then our turn. quite scary but still ok. although i miss out some points. then mrt-ed back with them. came home to slack haha.. I hope everything turn out right! Money i need money..

ok today nothing great too.. really nothing.. whole day rotted at home.. counting down 2 more days.. TO FREEDOM!! mom is getting more and more irritating nowadays.. keep scolding people you know XXXXXX whenever she like, even though it is not my fault.. scold me for what.. whatever fucker.. I'm use to it le..

Missing You every night.. Missing You already.. Please come back to my dreams again.. I miss you..

Oh ya if you are horney or just want to know the latest fashion of sex and other interesting facts about sex you can go to this website: http://www.1trackmind.com/ or watch some of their shows, its quite interesting and educational. NOT DIRTY ok!!!

so what now? post songs again? ok..
Missing You by Fan Yi Chen i know i post before, but this is the mv. If you think that the song is still not that sad, try watching the mv. Sadder!! How nice when you can die together with your love ones and stay together forever...



another great mv by SHE
沿海公路的出口







Alone again.. I really hate it.. I hate to be alone..

讨厌一个人的世界　厌倦了这种生活　有谁能来救我　带我走出去

Dad not home, the house become super quiet..

I'm really getting bore at this.. I don't want to be alone.. How many times i must say..!!!

Mood swinging again.. swinging from tree to tree haha >.<

tomorrow i going to go to the bank to make a bank account.. finally.. haha
need it for work or shopping lol.. to save money.. haha

today went to chem tuition early in the morning.. all the way to chinatown..
went with Tomoe(my Japanese sinapore friend+tuition mate), walk to simei mrt and took a mrt with her.. talk talk talk.. no space to sit so stood there until reach Outrum Park.. sadded..
then tuition.. 80% go in.. 20% look at don't know what.. so tired.. haha teacher asked me question i don't know how to answer cause never concentrate.. ask tomoe for the answer kana heard by teacher, teacher not happy le.. sad :( no more excuses.. is my fault i should just focus.. gomenasai.. then took a mrt back with tomoe also.. walk home from simei..

come home nothing to do..

missing you.. 今晚什么气氛让我这么的想你..

so ok nvm.. i will put songs instead.. haha.. enjoy people..

oyasumi nasai :)

good luck for those taking phy paper 1 tmr..!!!!

signing off
P Joanne XY

















Hiro why are you shy today? The sky is so beautiful today.. the pictures is not that nice compare with the real thing.. Hiro you are so kawaii X)
Night falls again.. Hiro you are there to accompany me.. Arigatou Hiro for your hugs.. ne

today was boring.. rotted at home.. sad.. :(
emo-ing..
Enjoy the time talking with Hiro... he sound kind of high today haha.. then he went off..
talk with gladys abit on the phone.. then nothing to do.. talking with rayson now on msn..
wasted my time on dramas instead of studying.. regreted.. haha :(

that was my life.. boring..

mom was crazy again.. i guess volcano is going to erupt again..
Dad going Malaysia tmr and will be back most probably on tue... for some relatives wedding..
i could not go due to my exams.. sad.. i really want to enjoy myself..

Shao wei bdae is getting nearer.. haha

now i got thai penpal, singapore penpal, japanese penpal, australia penpal..

been busy chatting on msn and email with my penpals..
i got 2 japanese penpal chatting on email everyday(so cool)
3 japanese penpal on msn
1 thai
1 aust
and a few singapore.. on msn..

Miss Lonely finding her Mr Lonely.. still waiting and finding..

ok nothing to type..

oyasumi my world..
cya tmr..

signing off
P Joanne XY













today is literature day!! early in the morning 2 papers.. paper 1 so difficult paper 2 ok-ok...
today was so boring.. TAIKUTSUSHITERU!!! yesterday only sleep for 5 hours.. so tired..

so today i just finish watching Yukan Club.. I love Bido.. hee hee so shuai..

then watch Bloody monday.. so tense lor.. should i watch epi 2???

sian..

thought of this.. going to turn adult le.. time to have a bf?? l0l jiayou everyone...!! pei wo ma..

ok stop here coz nth to say.. haha and mom ask me to slp le.. fuck! haha i dun wan leh.. ppl toking to me leh.. haha

nevermind tomorrow ba..

Jay Chou darling rox forever and ever!!!!! I love you Jay darling..

oyasumi my world..

signing off
P Joanne XY





So where am i now? IN SCHOOL baka ne... come for lit lesson but mdm yasmin got meeting... taikutsushiteru... In the school library now with Sean and Nurruddin...
Nothing to do so feel like blogging.. haha idiot me.. so..?? hmm..??? nothing to say.. l0l >.<

Yesterday watched Grapevine, acted by Yamapi and other actors..
what a sad sad sad story.. cry until siao.. haha :) make me emo after that...
why yamapi have to die in a motor accident in the end? His background already very sad le.. now he die.. how sadded... Yamapi don't die..

Yamapi got 2 dogs leh..(P and Hime) Hime actually called Choco but she did not react to the name.. so the family started calling her Hime and she reacted.. haha.. so she want people call her a princess after all.. haha like me >.<>

crapping and waiting.. what can i do next.. i wonder...???

yesterday i play with editing photo.. manage to make my face so smooth and shiny.. haha professional l0l.. haha but didn't manage to save it coz is the demo version.. haha too bad.. l0l.. but very nice lar.. so pretty..

ok nurruddin say i type too long le.. so i will stop here..

will continue when i reach home..

Hime will be back!!!!

signing off
P Joanne XY

Tears of innocent angels...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 @ 6:53 PM

No adult has the right to take away the light of hope in a child's eyes.

All children have the right to be happy.

All children have the right to feel loved.

Can the rich understand the poor?

The children are lift with heavy luggage because of the circumstances of their parents.

每个小孩都是神牵着手带到这世界上的
神爱他的孩子
他也要我们爱这些孩子

孩子来这世界上的原因
是神要这孩子去改变他的家人
希望那家庭能更美好
一起过着幸福快乐的日子

为何还有那么多的小孩在受苦
为何有些孩子没有一个美丽的童年
为何大人反的错小孩必须承担
小孩的笑为何都不在了

小孩的天真无邪我们要珍惜
守住他们的笑容
让他们有个美好的童年日子

大家请献出自己微薄的力量
带给我们的小孩快乐

神爱他的孩子
我爱神的孩子
我是神的孩子

我爱你天父

谢谢你





All humans have the power to love others
All humans have the power to be love by others

Guys

Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @ 3:48 PM

My Boyfriend 的基本要求：

#1: Good body line
#2: Style hair
(good if got fringe and quite long hair,
you know Richie from Magician of Love)
#3: Know how to wear in style
#4: Skin at least must be good
(I don't like pimples)
#5: Good looking
(I need to see you almost everyday and also
can show people so
the look is very important)

~Extras~
#1: Musical talented
(Like my darling Jay
can sing, dance and play instrument like piano,
drums or guitar)
#2: Enjoy sports like basketball or soccer
#3: Know how to do magic
#4: Rich?!
#5: Foreigner
(Japan/Korea/Taiwan)
#6: coloured hair
#7: Romantic

~No No~
#1: No smoking
#2: Heavy drinking
(casual drinking still can cause i also like to drink)
#3: Violent
(only when needed)
#4: Vurgarities
(only when very angry and theres a need to say)
#5: Nerds and computer freaks
#6: Slacker or doesn't like outdoor
#7: Hate Jay Chou

should be like that lar.. very simple right, not very high standard. hee hee >.<

Miss Lonely Finding Mr Lonely

Suffering from viruses

@ 2:52 PM

我只能永远读着对白　活在这面具里…

Life was normal?! I guess so... tomorrow is mother tongue exams paper 1 and 2. Going to get a A1 this time. I suffering from 3 virus right now, the "sian" virus, "emo-ing" virus and the "act childish" virus. Okay so is there cure for these viruses?

The sky are blue and the trees are green, so why am i feeling this way? Everyone have their own life, I'm bored!!! I want to go out, i just want to be free... 好寂寞哦！每天都是一个人…　

你们冷漠我

okay... so i have nothing to say.. then i will post some songs.. enjoy :)








my jay darling songs... haha X) Kimi wo aishiteru I love Jay Chou...

Hiro~

Sunday, November 2, 2008 @ 11:53 PM

Dear Hiro,

I know you can hear me, arigatou Hiro for accompany me now and then. Walking alone down a lonely street, looking at the night sky reminds of you. Oh Hiro you are such a nice person. dare yori mo daisuki dayo. Kimi wo aishiteru. I will never forget you. Hiro!

sunny day means Hiro is smiling
raining day means Hiro is sad
when evening comes and the sky are burning red, Hiro is shy
when night falls, Hiro is hugging me

too much feelings to put into words. lets the words remain unsaid...

from,
Joanne

A brand new day

@ 11:48 PM

Ohaiy0!

it's 11.51PM now
but
it's 12.51AM now in Japan
so..
Ohaiyo people
it's 3rd November
counting down 10 days
to freedom!!

I Miss You So So So Much
the outside world!!

Good Luck for tomorrow exam
=D

My House

@ 6:48 PM

The sky as usual
I Love the Sky
kimi wo aishiteru

Outside my house
(surrounded by schools)
wow a big big field across the street

My big big living room
you seldom see HDB flat living so big
ok lar quite big
haha X)

(my piano, computer...)

and my dad lying there sleeping

my messy bookshelves

My bedroom
Plasma TV/DVD player/VCR
my toys and my pillows
my uniforms hanging on the cupboard

Jealous?
i got my own corridor at home..
quite big one..

Outside of my House
(it's evening so got light)
empty corridor

My working area
(spent most of my time here)
got my darlings accompany me
what a messy place...

I was quite bored at home after studying social studies. So i decided to take pictures of my house. (to showoff) haha :) no lar... i just want to keep as memories.
tomorrow is social studies paper. study hard princess!! you still left a lot to chiong you know...haha slacker.

people who read my blog please tag at the tag box if not it will go rusty.. haha :P

tomorrow i going to see doctor again. my hand is not healing. i won't get a bf if my hand is like this. why other people hand are so nice and smooth but not my hand? what happen? is it due to the acid spilled that time or what? i really need an answer. it is painful and itchy sometime. Oh God help me God! Heal my hand! i need my right hand... but why my right hand have this problem.. sadded..

counting down 11 days to freedom. 7 papers to go.. GAMBATTE EVERYONE!!
and GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD LUCK (6=to luck, so 6 good means luck luck, so lucky!) lucky lucky lucky stars..



My darling Vanness de Lucky me..
He is hot He is Sexy He is cool He is 屌 He dance He sing He act He is so handsome

signing off
P Joanne XY