I'm thinking...
Thursday, September 24, 2009 @ 12:53 AM
been thinking stuffs after exam, i think is because no more need to remember the things and notes for exam...
Life is so unfair, the world, the society is so unfair. The western countries are pouring away milk due to over producing during strikes and riots, at the other part of the world, children at africa or india, they are struggling to survive, they don't even get to drink a single drop of milk, only from their mom breast milk. but you think they could survive just on that? their parents don;t even have enough food to survive themselves, how the mom going to produce enough breast milk for their children. we are just too fortunate to understand all these. i cant imagine how we going to survive when we are throw to that place penniless. with no experience in living outside ourselves, without handphone or laptop or psp or tv. without a proper bed and food. how are we going to survive there? i really think that they are so awesome, they can can can survive there?!?!?!?! they still can form their own family... (listen to Michael Jackson - Heal the world)
Watch a tv show just now, about Jarkata. i can't believe that people actually stay beside the rail way track less than 1 metre from the rail way. they just build a simple shelter and stay there. a bed shorter than a normal person height, the whole area less than 1 metre live a family. with all the sound and dust the train create, they can survive. picking up rubbish and sell them to earn a living. i really cant believe that. i feel that i'm really a princess. i'm so fortunate.
what will happen to me after graduation? was listening to vitamin c graduation song, thinking. what will really happen to me? will i still contact with all the friends i have, all of us will be in separate ways, work and have our own family. i will really miss them. my classmates and cca people. i really miss my aikido people. aikido now is like my second home. i am going to miss them a lot and a lot. i don't want to leave them, i hope non of us leave too. Ridzwan sms me about what he is thinking. same, i'm worry. i'm worry of a lot of things. i'm scare of losing. thats why i choose to have no more feelings and emotions, wearing a mask will help me to forget a lot of things, there will be no more gaining and losing feelings. but i know, all these are unreal, in the end i'm still going to lose things, no matter how much i protect them, treasure them, secure them, i will still lose my precious things one day. such as, my friends, my family.... i must learn to be strong, i must learn how to control my emotions, i shall not be beaten down by all these. but why i still got this strong feeling of scare, scare that i start to lose all the precious people around me. what will happen to me by then?
today exam was quite alright, i hope i can pass..
tomorrow going to meet mostafa, wen qiang and some others at tm to find nicholas birthday present and lunch, then go back to school for aikido training. a tired day for me tmr..
i pity and worry about my friends now. first zi zhao, he sound like he going to faint after work, where is the lively pig i know? i know he suffered a lot now from the work, but i know it will be over soon. my lively zi zhao will be back soon. and hamzah, my dear knight, he been so so so stress up by his competition, just now he called me, he sounds like he is half-dead. poor hammy. feel sad for him, but i know it will be over soon too. haha ^^ and next is ridzwan, his one is seriously no life, early morning go work, night come back home, too tired to do anything, so sleep, rest time need to read article on his work also. i seriously pity him, and he still got a long way to go. gambatte yo ridzwan. for all the others, good luck and jiayou to those who want to accomplish their goals!!!!
alright oyasumi mortal.. stay tune..
Princess Joanne
