broken heartz
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 @ 11:17 PM
i really don't know what people is thinking about me? Whats wrong with me? i really don't know..
i have my own mood too, you can't expect me to listen every time and say yes to every thing you say. If you want me to be that, then go find a robot to replace me. Even animals have feelings, it got its own good and bad times. I need a break, i really need a break. i feel like leaving this place for awhile and stop thinking about everything. Maybe i will feel better this way. Every thing is bulking me.. i need some peace, i really need some. the angel is dead and the demon is reborn. i have to control myself from spreading the wings because of you. But i want to be free, i want to be a hawk, a falcon, soar in the sky and enjoy. i want to get drunk again, i like the floating and nice feeling. Every good there is a bad, and every bad there is a good. There are good times and bad times. I only want to remember the good and not the bad, but what can i remember? there are more bad than good. God i want to change my life. God i really do. Why do you put me into this family? I tried to be good but no body understand my good intension. They only see me like a good girl turning bad, just because i talk to them about reborned hair, shorts, coloured hair... Hey whats wrong with all these??? I just want to be like any other people out there. I won't turn bad, why you all just don't trust me? I'm not convince enough by you telling me that you are my parent and you care for me. What is your care? taking away every thing i want and giving me things that i don't like. That is care uh? Fucking idiots. All i want is a bit freedom to get or do what i want to do. Is that very difficult? you still want to control what ever i wear, what ever i eat? I'm no longer a baby, i can take care of myself. I mean why you just cant give me this simple freedom? Everyone will be growing up, everyone will have different mindset. I hope you understand why i did not think what you thinking. We are different, so please understand and give me some space to breathe and choose. you have problems so do i, i also need to balance my feelings. can you just be more understandable? I just need that. Simple?today was ok, work again ma.. nothing to type actually.. haha X)
oyasumi nasai..
signing off
P Joanne XY
